Mood:  flirty

Friday, my office had a company cookout—it was very much like the party in Office Space...only no one was talking about showing anyone their "O" faces (although it probably would have been a little more interesting if they had been). Just saying. 

Anyway, no matter how cynical everyone may think I am, I decided to whip up a little something to contribute to the party. It's been awhile since I got out my recipe book and went to town. But when I heard about the cookout, I remembered the perfect recipe I had stashed away—the Bloody Mary Tomato Salad.

In last year's July issue of Good Housekeeping, they had a slew of recipes for a potluck BBQ, including caramelized onion and goat cheese panini, artichoke and mint dip, cantaloupe and cucumber salad, and corn and barley salad, along with the Bloody Mary dish.

So Thursday night, I made the biggest Bloody Mary of my bartending career—one that serves eight. For the salad, you will need 2 tablespoons of prepared horseradish, 2 tablespoons of olive oil, 2 tablespoons of vodka, 1 tablespoon of fresh lemon juice, 1.5 teaspoons of hot pepper sauce, 1 teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper, 3 pints of cherry or grape tomatoes cut in half, 4 stalks of celery cut into 1/4-inch diagonal slices, and celery leaves for garnish.

As usual, I tweaked the recipe to my liking. I added fresh green beans to the salad which I put in boiling water for three minutes before dropping them into an ice bath. I also added a couple pickled okra, sliced down the middle. In the south, we drink our Bloody Marys with a kick—so I doubled and tripled the ingredients for the dressing. The result was very tasty and very much like one of my favorite brunch beverages.

Although my coworkers seemed to enjoy the salad, I set aside a portion for the newest man in my life to try—it will be his first taste of my cooking. If he hates it, we are through (totally kidding). 

Cheers! 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CDT

Updated: Monday, August 23, 2010 7:47 AM CDT

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Mood:  bright

When I stepped on the scale this morning, it was 120.0 pounds—the lowest it's been this entire process. However, the weight I've been recording is my weight at the end of the day, before I hop into bed. 

Today, my last day of detox, I'm relieved that it's almost over, but a little weirded out by jumping back into my old diet. I've decided to use some of the foods and recipes I've used during detox and incorporate them into my regular life. I know better than to think I could always eat like this, but I also know it is possible, because I did it!

I have also realized that I don't have to rely on caffeine to get me going in the morning—a good night's sleep will do that for me. However, I will never stop drinking coffee. So I made a deal with myself: enjoy coffee in the mornings, but no soda at lunch, and no caffeine at dinner. Maybe then I can still enjoy a decent snooze.

The most frustrating thing I learned throughout this detox is that America's food industry really is screwing us over! I don't mean to get all hippie on you, but I'm still pissed at how many of the "fresh" foods at Whole Foods were full of salt and sugar. It's the same argument I have with Jason's Deli, Subway, McCallister's Deli, etc...you think you are eating healthy because it seems fresh and all, but you are eating more calories than a big mac. The only answer is to read the labels so you know exactly what you're eating. 

Aside from generally feeling energized, I feel so light—probably because of all the water I've been drinking. But I've also noticed a change in my skin, very smooth and clear. Again, thanks to the water.

While I'm not planning on bingeing tomorrow, I am looking forward to some normalcy.

Hello world, I'm baaaaaack! My liver is quivering...watch out boys!

Weight: 123.0 pounds

Posted by wittywriter7 at 10:19 PM CDT

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Mood:  happy

After a pretty crappy Saturday, I knew I was going to have to make a real effort to have a great Sunday. With that on my mind, I took time out for myself—stopped by the tanning salon for a nice hydration session, tanning, and a mystic. 

I am not ashamed. Cause I haven't looked this good in awhile. Bitches.

Anyway, I went on a hunt for some detox-friendly sweet treats and was extremely successful. I stocked up on more Endangered Animals chocolate (the mint and raspberry remain my favorite) and was able to find dairy-free, sugar-free ice cream, in peanut butter chocolate swirl.

And then I proceeded to park my ass on my couch, do some writing, watch trashy tv, and indulge in an afternoon long men-bashing session with my greatest girlfriends.

Today was a great day. But I'm still counting down the hours until a margarita isn't off-limits. 

Weight: 123.2 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 9:41 PM CDT

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Mood:  down

After my little attitude problem yesterday, I knew I needed to get out of the house and eat some good food. So I invited my friend Nicole out for a sushi lunch—perfect. 

Naturally, we really had to hunt for an open sushi restaurant on a Saturday afternoon in Baton Rouge. We should've just caught the fish ourselves, honestly.

But the wait was worth it, delicious food and great company. Afterward, I went out to look for some jewelry. Since the breakup, I have been on the lookout for a cute, meaningful ring that I can wear everyday. I had a ring from The Ex that I no longer wear, and I'm looking for just the perfect piece of rock that will be an expression of me, and a reminder to myself to keep looking forward.

During my search, I didn't find a ring, but I did find a cute gold bracelet...and picked up a really bad attitude along the way. For the past year, spending money, any amount of money, sends me into a stressed out frenzy.

Why, you ask?

Probably because my dead-end job sends e-mails out saying, "hey just for funsies we are thinking about laying a few people off. Cool?"

So I am constantly living in fear that my main source of income will be snatched out from underneath me and I'll be left to rely on my cat to bring in the funding to pay my rent. The job stress is just a never-ending cycle. It starts with the the threats to lay people off, then I start looking for a job and saving my pennies, then I get turned away for jobs, then I feel depressed and hate my life.

To be honest, I never intended on staying in Louisiana after I graduated from college. But then, I got a great job. And a stellar apartment. And I was in love. So there I had it—I thought I had it all—the job! The man! Plans for the future!

And one by one, things have slipped through my fingers without notice. Sure, I don't hate Baton Rouge. I have great friends here and I still live in a nice place. But to be truthful, I want out.

I'm sick of the uncertainty with the job. There are things I want to do—buy a house, get a new car, etc. But I can't make any real decisions until I know I'm not going to be living off unemployment in the next year. My only solution to that is to leave before I find out if I'm meant to get the ax or not (something I should've done in my last relationship, because today I've convinced myself The Ex was cheating the entire time and he is frolicking with her now).

See? Quarter. Life. Crisis.

I'm signing up for the Peace Corps.

Weight: 122.6

PS. I need a damn drink. Wednesday night, it's on.  

Posted by wittywriter7 at 10:51 PM CDT

Updated: Saturday, July 31, 2010 11:10 PM CDT

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Mood:  accident prone

I can't tell you how much I just want to eat normal again. There isn't a certain food I'm after, I'm just so tired of watching what I eat, reading food labels, drinking 100 ounces of water each day, and hanging out with myself while I eat said foods. 

I can't lie, I physically feel great. But I was feeling pretty down in the dumps today, that is until my friend Jay (who I met on my Tennessee boat trip) surprised me with buying a flight to come visit me in a few short weeks! 

I am so excited, I think I'll probably spend the rest of my night doing the happy dance around my apartment—I don't think I've EVER had a guy fly to see me, and if I did, well I've obviously forgotten, so whatever. I am already planning loads of fun activities for us to partake in—I love having visitors!

As I was leaving work today, I saw a group of frat boys loading some kegs into their frat house....oh how I wanted that—the boys AND the keg. I was totally craving a keg stand; and then I just wanted to be back in college.

Sigh.

I know I may want my diet to be back to normal right now, but I only have four more days to make it. And I know the reward at the end will be sweet.

Weight: 121.8 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CDT

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Mood:  d'oh

I looked forward to tonight's dinner all freaking week. By now, you've probably come to realize that my imagination doesn't do me any favors. Hell, in my imagination, I'm happily married to the man of my dreams (ahem, John M. call me please), we're so loaded we don't know what to do with all the cash (which is why we buy our grapes 

from Whole Foods), my book series (3 in total) is a New York Times bestseller, and well, the hubby and I are in the middle of buying a vineyard. 

Crazy how that happens, right?

Hence why I got so stoked over a stupid date bar two days ago. But hey, one can always dream.

But this evening my dream came true and the dinner I had been looking forward to did not taste like shit. May the angels sing!

All summer, I had planned to host a Jersey Shore premiere party—complete with the outfits, lasagna, pizza, and watermelon margaritas, or as Ronnie and The Situation call it, Haterade.

However, this was the best time of my summer to detox. Every other week or weekend I have something on the social calendar that involves drinking and/or eating junk (ah, to be young and beautiful). So I had to give up my Jersey Shore party tonight.

But that doesn't mean my meal has to be boring! So for dinner I made chicken sausage with sauteed onion and bell pepper all packed into a whole grain bun, with a side of corn on the cob. Yum!

A meal finally tasted normal, and delicious, and even summery. I loved it. And it was very filling, which is always a plus. The sausage I got was the chipotle pepper variety made Amylu. Amylu also makes other flavors such as apple & gouda, apple & maple, cranberry & cognac, gourmet chorizo, italian with parmesean, italian with peppers & onions, jalapeno & pepper jack, and sun dried tomato & basil.

Since I was so discouraged after my trip to Whole Foods last weekend, I went to Fresh Market for the first time. While it is very similar to Whole Foods, I found a few additional detox-friendly snacks there.

Aside from the Amylu chicken sausage, I found a bag of vegan granola that is so good! The brand is Little Red Wagon and they have several varieties such as cosmopolitan(cranberries, apricot, pecan, almond, hint of orange), crunchy monkey(bananas, chocolate chips, pecans, almonds), mocha (dark chocolate drops, almonds).

I bought Big Apple, the only vegan variety offered by Little Red Wagon. Big Apple is of course clusters of granola, mixed with dried apples, raisins, almonds, pecans, and cinnamon.

Fresh Market also had some sesame snacks I bought, along with some veggie chips. With five more days to go, I feel these new food items will help me make it to the end (not to mention the sushi I'm going to have this weekend).

Now...it's Jersey Shore, bitch!

Weight: 122.6 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 8:43 PM CDT

Updated: Thursday, July 29, 2010 8:45 PM CDT

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Mood:  lazy

Remember all of that energy I said I had? Well...I think I used it all. Since I started this detox, I've noticed it's much easier to get up and go in the mornings. I've even been arriving at work 15-20 minutes earlier. However, my new sense of mental clarity definitely leaves me exhausted at the end of the day. 

After my disgusting Larabar fiasco yesterday, I stuck to the usual food today. I did, however, enjoy an iced caffeine-free, unsweetened passion tea from Starbucks after work though (accompanied by my latest read, One Fifth Avenue by Candace Bushnell).

For dinner, I had baked chicken and corn on the cob—I used the frozen corn (no added salt or butter) that comes in the steamer bag for the microwave. I was pleasantly surprised at how delicious it was!

Tomorrow, I have a special dinner planned in honor of the season II premiere of Jersey Shore. I'm looking forward to, what I hope will be, a new and tasty food choice. It seems like as the days wear on, I'm wearing down—I'm craving my old diet more and more. On the contrary, I finished my water goal earlier than ever today, so here's to not being dehydrated! 

In other news, I'm exhausted. And I don't know how much longer I'll be awake—cross your fingers I'm not rearing to go at 3 am.

Weight: 122.0 pounds 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 8:35 PM CDT

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Mood:  smelly

Well...I've made it halfway! Only 7 more days left of detox, the only downfall of that is, another weekend to make it through. However, I'm happy knowing that once I make it through the weekend, I only have Monday and Tuesday to get through. 

And Wednesday? Well, there's a bottle of imported Merlot on the top shelf of my pantry waiting to get screwed. For realz.

Wine and coffee are really my only cravings so far. Of course, cooking and packing every little thing I eat has become a pain, but cheap, if that does anything for you.

Today, I was looking forward to my afternoon snack: a Larabar Jocalat (Pure Organic Chocolate Food Bar) in the German Chocolate Cake variety.

Boy do I love German chocolate cake. That moist chocolate cake, layered with sweet coconut (where is Dane Cook when I need him) icing, almonds and pecans. Oh. My. God.

Well, as I had mentioned, I spent way too much time in Whole Foods Saturday, reading every single label in the store. I was able to find two protein bars that were detox-compatible, so I grabbed them and left.

So all day I was waiting for that 2 o'clock hour, when I could rip open my sweet German chocolate cake. When 1:50 rolled around, it was game time.

And game time tasted like shit. To be more accurate, it looked like shit, but tasted like a big rotten date. I have no problem with dates. They are a fine fruit. But when you are expecting chocolate, a date does not make for a Jolly Holly.

Now, I'm not a complete tard, I knew it wasn't going to be a Hershey bar. But I will say the Endangered Animals chocolate that I bought is detox friendly, and tastes BETTER than milk chocolate. So it is possible.  

Why in the heck did it taste like a date? Naturally, I referred to the list of ingredients:

DATES, pecans, almonds, unsweetened chocolate, unsweetened coconut, extra virgin coconut oil, cocoa powder.

I mean really? The very first thing listed, of course it's going to be a giant freaking date. I know I read this label because everything is okay for me to eat, so why did I think I'd be cool with a bar of dates and nuts, packaged to look like chocolate. Yet another case of me letting my imagination get the best of me—it screws me over in dating, and now it's screwing me over in dates. How good did I honestly think a protein bar that was organic, gluten-free, dairy-free, kosher, soy-free, non-GMO, and vegan was really going to be?

Sigh. I'm really trying here.

When I did a little searching about the Larabar, it seems the "mint chocolate" is the popular choice. Maybe I will give the Larabar a second chance. See? See what is happening to me?

Word is getting around at work about my crazy detox plan, which I appreciate the curiosity. It helps that people around me know what I'm doing, because it eliminates temptation. No one is inviting me out for lunch, because they know I can't have it. It would be super nice if my TV knew I was doing it because I can't tell you how many commercials for Sonic I've drooled over, scenes of Red Lobster crab legs swimming in garlic butter I've dreamt of, or that DQ 25th Anniversary Blizzard where I wish to be the red plastic spoon.

But no.  

Instead, I've parked myself on the couch, snacking on unroasted and sea-salted almonds. Delish. I fell asleep before I could finish Lipstick Jungle last night, and I'm on a mission to finish it tonight. So, who's up for a caffeine-free rose tea?

Weight: 123.6 pounds

Posted by wittywriter7 at 10:46 PM CDT

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Mood:  incredulous

I got up 20 minutes earlier than I usually do—meaning 6:10 am. If that's not an indication of how my detox is treating me, then I don't know what is. 

Usually, er should I say pre-detox, my alarm goes off at 6:01, allowing myself time to hit the snooze button three times (yep, that's how big of a loser I am). But not this morning, I was roaring to start my day.

My to-do list was packed, and as I mentioned before, not being drunk or hung over all the time allows me all the time in the world to be productive! Aside from working my usual day, I needed to ship off a few things to my Ebay buyers, along with setting aside some serious time to work on my memoir. I did both of those AND cooked dinner AND got a spray tan—amazing!

Now I'm ready to dive into the last 100 pages of Lipstick Jungle, which should be good. Candace Bushnell, we may have been separated at birth.

Anyway, my food plan today wasn't too different from the stuff I've been reporting. I did, however, have a low-sodium V8 as a snack this afternoon. Talk about GROSS. I choked it down (I would rather do another worm shot than drink a V8 again). Yuck.

But, in tomorrow's bag of food, I packed one of my protein bars from Whole Foods that I've pretty pumped about. And yeah, that's what my life has dwindled to, being excited over a protein bar.

I did come clean with the guys that texted me this weekend and told them I was participating in a "cleanse." They were both pretty cool about it and relieved that I wasn't blowing them off. Hehe, oh the power I hold in my tiny spray-tanned hand. However, I sort of wish I told them it was a year-long cleanse, because in 9 days, I will probably be thinking of a new excuse to blow them off.

Weight: 122.8 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 10:17 PM CDT

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