Mood:  bright

I had every intention of returning from my long weekend on Norris Lake with a long entry of stories of drunken antics. But I've reached a point where I honestly don't know if my words can do the trip any justice. 

I will say, though, it was everything a vacation needs to be—fun in the sun, lots of drinking, tons of laughter, and even some John Mayer music. And to top it off, I met some great people (read: cute guys). We went tubing, drank, ate lots of yummy food, drank, went boating, drank, relaxed on rafts, and we drank—I'm still a little sunburned and sore from all of the above. 

So, to the Norris Lake crew, I hope you had as much fun as I did! And hopefully I'll see you again...before next trip, that is! 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CDT

Updated: Friday, June 11, 2010 9:04 AM CDT

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Mood:  smelly

I know you've all been dying to read about the remainder of Angela and I's trip aboard the Carnival FUN Ship...so here goes. 

Our first night on board, we decided to kick off the evening by popping a bottle of Wilson Creek Winery's famous Almond Champagne. To do so, we needed a fresh bucket of ice. Enter: our room stewardess. She promptly arrived with a large bucket of ice, at our request. Once she got in our room she said she would be happy to fill the bucket each night.

"Oh no, we just need it for tonight," Angela said.

"Oh, just tonight...champagne?" she asked.

"Yes!"

So she said she would bring us two proper glasses. When she returned with said glasses, we tried to strike up a little conversation—learning her name for starters: Prappa. She rolled her R's like a pro. However, we dubbed her "Prappa don't preach." for the remainder of the trip. Even in her absence, she made us laugh with those famous towel animals—a lobster-looking thing, an elephant, a monkey (which Angela said looked like a towel-head..heh), and something else I can't remember.

After downing the bottle of champagne, we headed off to the dining room for our first meal in the formal dining area. Upon arrival of our assigned table, we met Adam. Sweet Adam, a law student at Tulane in his last semester. He said his friends would probably take up most of our table, but they were off drinking somewhere. Soon enough, they arrived—all law students, all a little tipsy, very hungry, and pretty loud. Oddly, they all had the same names...like Will, Adam, and some other common name. It was a group of 12, who all shared three names, and were celebrating their last spring break.

Later two other guys joined us...a pair that we wondered the entire trip if they were gay or what. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

After dinner, we made it to the nightly show where we saw the dancers and also met Jenn the Cruise Director. She had that Australian accent that made me think of The Fabulous Life of...so that was a running joke throughout the entire trip ("Why stand up in ze showuh when you can sit? Jenn the Cruise Director has a chair in her shower aboard the Carnival Triumph)...harr harr.

Friday was our first official day at sea, which meant we had serious plans to drink, get some sun, drink, sleep, and uh, drink! We kicked off the morning with a trip back to the dining room for breakfast where we had to sit with the most boring family in the continental United States. Meet dad, the type of guy who drinks V8 with his meal and adds salt. Then there's mom, your typical no makeup, part down the middle, milk-drinking mom, who has a terrible tick of mouthing words to herself and sticking her tongue out at inappropriate moments. It annoyed the shit out of me. Then there's the three daughters. All slutskys.

On the other side we had the married couple that was lactose-intolerant. Did the grits have milk? What about the scrambled eggs? Can we get two strawberry jams? Oh, I'll have a croissant. Whatever.

After breakfast, we needed a stiff drink and a deck chair, pronto. After finding a pair of chairs next to some plastic ladies, we got a bucket of beer and got to it—and by it I mean a pretty nasty sunburn. We ate plates of Mexican on the deck, ordered rounds of cocktails, and passed out for awhile. Awesome. That night was formal night in the dining room, so we pulled on our little black dresses and hopped to it. But we were the only ones at our table...one thing was clear, we had pissed off our table mates.

Saturday we arrived in Cozumel! We met up with our excursion group—the Mexican cooking class. We walk to a row of busses where we hear the best news of the day—unlimited drinks all day. Hola senior! So we hop on the proper bus and it's like we boarded the school field trip...kids everywhere and parents who aren't controlling them. I got lucky enough to sit next to the kid with problems. Not only did he talk to himself the entire trip, he used an entire roll of film taking pictures out of the window. Luckily him, nor his family, were in the cooking class. 

Once we arrived in class, we got set up at a station with two other ladies who were out to eat, drink, and laugh—a perfect match. We met our chef, Louis, a funny guy but also slightly perverted. Whatever. So we put on our aprons and chef hats and got things cooking. We made a three-course meal: an appetizer with homemade tortillas and chorizo, an entree of tilapia and veggies wrapped in banana leaves, and a dessert of cookies and rice pudding. It was delicious, but then again, after about 6 cocktails what doesn't taste great? During the meal, we sat next to some annoying lady who was bragging about going on cruises every week of her life. She was also sharing horror stories about getting left at the pier. While Angela and I were both drinking, one thing was for sure, we would not get left behind. 

After lunch, we wanted to make the most out of our free drink wristband, so we proceeded to down multiple cups of Mexican beer as fast as we could. We made it back to the bus, our fists full of beer, just in time to see the kiddies board. Their parents weren't happy to see us. However, we arrived back in the shopping area where we witnessed a wondrous Michael Jackson impersonator. We also did a little bit of shopping—I picked up some cigars for Mr. Big and a bag of Mexican coffee for myself.

We found a Fat Tuesdays and enjoyed 20-ounce margaritas with our friends from cooking class. Then, it was time to board the ship. Once aboard, I promptly passed out and missed the best dinner of the vacation—filet mignon and red snapper! Ugh...instead we caught the late night buffet of something I can't even recall.

Sunday was our last day at sea, and unfortunately, our last full day of vacation. Sadly, it was raining, but I guess our sunburns could use the rest. Since it was the last day, we wanted to enjoy more cocktails and really have some fun. We kicked things off with drinks and a round of Movie Theme-Song Trivia! I'm not as good with movie songs as I am with TV themes, but I knew a few...Home Alone, Beauty and the Beast, Titanic, The Lion King, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Pink Panther, Aladdin, Dirty Dancing, E.T....just to name a few.

Angela and I hung out in our room for a bit, watching 500 Days of Summer (we drank every time someone said Summer). We also got Prappa don't Preach to bring us more ice for our second, and last, bottle of Almond Champagne. We made it to dinner, alone again, and then arrived at the Hollywood Club for the Michael Jackson theme-hour...which was very interesting...

All in all, a fabulous trip! If I left anything out, which I'm sure I did, Angela might do you a favor and fill you in...we always have fun trips and visits—the cruise was no exception! Thanks again, friend :) 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CDT

Updated: Tuesday, April 6, 2010 8:31 AM CDT

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Mood:  lazy

It's time to take a look back on my days at sea...boy, were they nice. However, at times I still feel like the ground under me is swaying. 

Anyway, the adventure started Wednesday evening when I picked Angela up from the airport (I actually got in trouble from the police for waiting in the pickup/drop-off area, lights and siren and everything). On the way to the hotel, I get lost on the West Bank, known to locals at the wank...and I was about to have a royal meltdown trying to make it back to civil New Orleans.

However, we made it to the hotel and met up with my Mr. Big for dinner at the delicious Ignatious—one of Big's favorite eateries; it was so yummy. Angela got a kick out of the beers served in brown paper bags—the first photo opportunity of the trip.

The next stop was the famous Pat O'Briens in the French Quarter—Angela had been waiting for their Hurricanes. We had arrived just in time for the dueling piano war in front of a crowd full of those attending an Ace Hardware convention, including the two married men next to us.

It's a great time to tell you that I am on the look out for anyone who cheats. I can't stand people being unfaithful, I've never done it, never will do it and I want Tiger Woods to die a painful death. So yes, I noticed the wedding bands on these men right off the bat and I was ready to aim, fire if either of them tried to hit on us.

When we got our first rounds of Hurricanes, the two men were trying to race us on drinking them...they literally wanted to shotgun a 12-ounce rum cocktail. Seriously?

After we finished round 1, they were all "are you guys leaving?" I'm like who do we look like? We ordered round 2. To that, they responded "oh man you guys are gonna be wasted!!" Christ.

So the guy sitting next to me says they've never been to New Orleans and wants to know what they should do while they're in town. I'm like, nice try buddy but I don't know much about this here town either! I just let Big drive me around in a limo stocked with beer. He doesn't like that I haven't taken on the role of Tour Guide, so I tell him to go to Emeril's and charge it to the company account. 

After round 2, Angela and I hightail it outside so we could call Sheena on her midnight birthday! I was searching for my phone in my purse and asked Angela to hold my Hurricane glass for a sec. She places the glass on the BANISTER of the stairs...it was like placing your foot on a tightrope. The glass hits the brick floor and shatters.

For a split second, I think "damn, I think a shard hit my toe." But the thought passes and we call Sheena. Next, we make our way to another bar to purchase the favorite Hand Grenade—the 151 concoction.

Naturally, the remainder of the night was a blur. I know we went into a new bar to use the restroom and there was a girl throwing up. We caught a taxi back to the hotel, where we decided to order an Italian meat lovers pizza around 12:30 am. The pizza guy says it'll be an hour and 15 minutes. So I think it's a good idea to crawl into bed. Angela then comments about something on my toe...and I tell her it was a sunless tanning mishap.

The next thing I know, I wake up at 5:30 am and realize we have no pizza. I was also holding Angela's phone and mine was under her bed. Weird. Naturally, we both feel like crap and saw the missed call from the pizza guy at 2:30 am. Angela calls the front desk to see when the breakfast opens up, and we have an hour to kill.

So we venture off to get ice and a non-alcoholic beverage. The two drinks we get, get stuck in the vending machine. It's 6 am and neither of us can figure out how to get them out, putting us both near tears. After about 10 minutes, Angela retrieves them and we're on our way.

I decide the least I can do before breakfast is wash my feet. As I'm soaping up, I see the bottom of my foot is disgusting. No, it was not a sunless tanning mishap. It was indeed, my own blood from two holes in my toe—CSI flashback to Hurricane glass shattering. I then look at my shoe...not only is the strap ripped off, but it's also covered in blood. SWEET.

"I wish I would've known my foot was bleeding so I could use that line from Romy & Michelle."

Anyone? The part where Romy says "I have to go, I cut my foot earlier and my shoe is filling up with blood."

So yeah, I didn't care about my personal health, just the chance to use a movie line.

Anyway, breakfast was much needed. Afterward, we showered and packed our crap so we could board the ship on time. It was about this point when Angela realized she failed to pack a swimsuit....for a cruise to Mexico. She brought two swimsuit tops, but no bottoms.

We're all packed up and we head to the Port of New Orleans which was right across the street from our hotel. We wait in line for the parking garage, pay for parking, and make it up to the proper floor where we drop off our luggage. Enter the assholes. 

So we're getting our luggage together and the attendant comes up and asks for luggage tags, which we don't have. He looks through our printed documents sans tags and says, "you need to go online and print the luggage tags." Um, ok no problem sir, let me just whip out my portable PRINTER so I can do that! So he runs off to get "alternative tags" and we come across two young perverts looking at my ass. Angela yells at them and I flip them off.

So we're ready with our tags, but the guy doesn't like the flat of water we wanted to bring, so he tells us to put the individual bottles in our suitcases. Okay... then he's all "uumm, there's alot of people waiting, so I'm gonna go."

Here comes another guy, who says we shouldn't be putting our water bottles in our suitcases. Well sweet. He takes our bags anyway and basically tells us to tip him because he isn't part of the Carnival staff. It was awkward.

We park and get in the longest line to security I've ever been in (2 hours). But eventually, we made it to the Carnival Triumph ready for a drink...well, at least one that didn't resemble a Hurricane.

Angela and I hop on the elevator to get to our room. It's us in the elevator and here comes a couple, each equipped with their first cocktail. Angela starts grilling the guy about the drink, what does it taste like? Is it good? When his girlfriend blurts out..."I have to tell you guys something..."

I'm thinking she has to pee. Or maybe she gets seasick easily. Instead, she says "HE JUST ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM!!!!!!" While holding up her left jazz hand to reveal a typical princess cut diamond.

I just want to remind you that Angela and I boarded this ship to toss out many negative things in our lives. Sure, we've got men in our lives, but we weren't on the ship to think about weddings.

I couldn't believe it. We had been on the ship 3 minutes, when we'd already been beaten in the face with an engagement ring. Angela and I both took a huge breath in, and responded with a "yyyeeeeeeee!!!!" And made it to our floor, mumbling a congrats.

What happened during the days at sea? I'll get to that...in part II. (Who says I don't have a career in TV?) 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CDT

Updated: Sunday, April 4, 2010 11:12 AM CDT

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Mood:  celebratory

One of my favorite Jamie Cullum songs, "All at Sea," is my soundtrack for the next few days. As you read this, I am boarding my first cruise ship and heading to Cozumel. 

"I'm all at sea, where no one can bother me. Forgot my roots, if only for a day. Just me and my thoughts, sailing far away." 

The only things going with me are my bestie Angela and a bottle of Wilson Creek Almond Champagne, which traveled all the way from Temecula, California to reach my lips.

"Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul, please just leave me right here on my own. Later on you could spend some time with me, if you want to, all at sea." 

As many of you are aware from reading this blog, I've been under copious amounts of stress in the last year. May God have mercy on your soul if you've had to cross my path. I am a mess—it's a wonder I have people in my life to put up with my attitude and short temper.

"I'm all at sea, where no one can bother me. I sleep by myself, I drink on my own, don't speak to nobody, I gave away my phone." 

Last week, my doctor gave me the news—I have high blood pressure. Oh really, doc? I also grind my teeth every night, crack my neck and knuckles, and can't sleep for more than two hours at a time. Thanks for that update though.

"Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul, please just leave me right here on my own. Later on you could spend some time with me, if you want to, all at sea." 

I don't know how I got to this place that makes me irritable and unable to sleep. All I know is, my friend Angela has come to my rescue (and it's not the first time). 

"Now I need you more than ever, I need you more than ever, now." 

I would bargain a majority of my stress begins with my need to save funds. Because of that, I can't do many things I used to do for stress relief—no manis, pedis, facials, massages...wine bars... So it's just a never ending cycle.

"You don't need it every day, but sometimes don't you just crave to disappear within your mind?" 

But I'm not alone in my anxiety; Angela is going through it, too. So to save us, her family put us aboard this ship. And I couldn't be more thrilled.

"You never know what you might find." 

The ship will leave the Port of New Orleans today, and sail to Cozumel by Saturday where we have planned an excursion—a Mexican cooking class. After that, we head back to New Orleans and dock Monday. 

"So come and spend some time with me. We will spend it all at sea." 

Between here and there, I plan on putting my liver to the test. I couldn't tell you the last time I had a carefree night out. I've also heard great things about the meals aboard ship, and the cute waiters who serve it. And with Angela by my side, I can only imagine the fun we are about to have.

"Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul, please just leave me right here on my own." 

Although this is a vacation and not a therapy session, there are a few things I'd like to leave at sea in hopes of returning a little refreshed.

1. Lack of sleep. I'd like to be able to sleep a good six hours before I wake up. The sleepless nights are getting old.

2. Worry of getting hurt. I have been struggling to find confidence in love simply because of my past. I want to wash the slate clean and appreciate what I have (even more than I already do).

3. Dependence. I am independent in paying my bills and maintaining a house. But I feel I've lost a little bit of it in trying to find my own way in work and in love and happiness.

So, cheers to a long weekend with my best friend. We're finally taking a much-needed vacation and plan to make the absolute most of it.

"Later on you could spend some time with me, if you want to, all at sea." 

All aboard!  

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CDT

Updated: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 9:28 AM CDT

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Mood:  cheeky

I spent most of this week in Southern California visiting my best friend, Angela. While this trip was my third to California, it was my second trip to San Diego. Since my trip was short, Angela had planned every minute of our time with many fun adventures.

 My arrival was celebrated with my first California Burrito (steak, fries, sour cream, cheese, all in a tortilla) and a trip to the popular San Diego zoo. We made it a point to see the polar bears, hippos, monkeys, and pandas—one of the only zoos to house giant pandas. 

Day two of my visit was the highlight of my trip—a Grapeline Tour of the Temecula Wine Country. Starting at 10:30 am, a shuttle took us to the Leonesse Vineyard and Cellars. We tasted probably seven wines, while touring the barrel room. Leonesse ages its red wine in French Oak barrels (which cost a chilling $1300 each) for at least 36 months—each barrel holds 300 bottles of wine and the barrel flavor is only good for two batches. 

Our next stop was the Wilson Creek Winery, famous for their Almond Champagne. We tasted five wines and learned some history on their family driven business. The Wilson Creek Winery housed a restaurant and several stages for weddings and live music and is also home to their many golden retrievers (one I met, named Cabernet or "Cabby" for short). 

Stop three was the Wiens Family Cellars, famous for their estate-farmed wines. We tasted six wines, including their Orange Champagne and their White Port—a Temecula original. Our last stop was Ponte Winery, noted for their selection of light wines. My favorites included an apple bubbly, a rose Juliet, and a floral tasting Isabel. There wasn't a wine there a girl wouldn't like. 

My last full day in San Diego included some shopping in beautiful La Jolla and a trip to Sea World. We saw the Pets Rule show, the dolphin show, and the famous Shamu show. We also visited the sting ray pool, where watchers can feel their skin. The puffin exhibit was impressive, along with the penguin encounter. The evening was planned with a dinner cruise aboard the Hornblower ship. Angela and I enjoyed a meal of filet mignon, salmon, vegetables, creme brulee, aside champagne, sauvignon blanc, and Midori sours. The humor of the evening was captured on the dance floor, when our fellow elder passengers enjoyed the classics such as Billie Jean, Dancing Queen, and L-O-V-E.

As always, I had a fabulous time with my great friend. Angela will be leaving San Diego soon, heading to the Midwest. Although the sights in California were unforgettable, my time with her is always fun...looking forward to many more! Thanks again, Angela!

Posted by wittywriter7 at 11:44 AM CDT

Updated: Friday, May 22, 2009 11:47 AM CDT

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Mood:  caffeinated

When I planned my trip to San Diego, CA over Thanksgiving, I was looking forward to a long weekend of relaxing, visiting with old friends, and eating turkey of course.

What I failed to realize was where I was actually traveling to...America's Finest City! My trip was more than I bargained for, in the best way possible. I left San Diego last night having seen several corners of one of the most beautiful cities I've ever seen.

My first evening in town, Angela and I went for dinner in Balboa Park. Balboa is twice the size of Central Park, making San Diego one of the only cities to set aside acreage for a park. Inside Balboa, trees and greenery from all around the world decorate the scene. 

We enjoyed a meal of local seafood paired with wines at El Prado before heading over to the Old Globe Theatre to see an annual tradition, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, as a play. The Grinch is one of my all-time favorite Christmas tales, but this was like I'd never seen before. The theatre was transformed into who-ville, complete with the who-tree, who-candles, and even who-hash. The play itself was even more cartoon like than the original movie. The characters were dressed in who-clothing from hair to shoe, they didn't leave out a single song...they even added a few! The Grinch was creepy and so real, but somehow a very likeable character. 

Thanksgiving was spent in the kitchen making an amazing spread of traditional, Midwestern cuisine as me and Angela are Indiana girls. We cooked nearly every side dish we'd had growing up and completed the meal with honey ham and turkey. 

Friday and Saturday, Angela was off to work, so I explored San Diego on my own—something I enjoy doing very much. I took the trolley to Fashion Valley to join the masses on black friday. In the evening Angela and I drove to La Jolla, where the beach housed several seals and sea lions sun bathing before evening set. In La Jolla, I saw one of the most beautiful sunsets I've ever seen. 

We went to the top of a Mount Soledad to catch the end of the sunset and a gorgeous view of the city.  Mount Soledad isthe home of a controversial symbol in San Diego—the Korean War Memorial cross. Since it's construction in 89, the cross has been involved in continuous litigationregarding its legal status as a religious symbol. 

Saturday, I rode the trolley to Old Town, a street and square dedicated to what San Diego would have looked like minus the modernazations. From Old Town, I hopped on a tour trolley that took me on a 2-hour trip around the city...from Balboa to Point Loma and Coranado Island. The tour was completely narrated, so I got to hear all the fun facts about the city along the way. Saturday night, Angela and I enjoyed fine dining at Top of the Market, a seafood eatery that sits along the harbor. We saw ships and cruises passing as we enjoyed more seafood (scallops, halibut, lobster bisque) and a bottle of pineapple pino gris. 

My last morning in town, Sunday, Angela and I ate brunch at the harbor before we boarded a seal tour. The tour starts of in a truck that drives to the water and then literally drives into the water out to the live bait dock where the seals sunbathe. Our last stop was at the top of Point Loma, where there was a beautiful view and a lighthouse. 

Thank you Angela and Matt for having me on this wonderful trip! I hope I can visit soon and often.

Posted by wittywriter7 at 10:24 AM CST

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Mood:  rushed

Hello all! 

Today I am adjusting back to life in Baton Rouge after a four day vacation in Destin, Florida. I went with one of my best friends of almost eleven years.

From Baton Rouge, the drive to Destin is only about five hours. We left the directions up to the navigation system, which got us there thankfully. We stayed at a hotel along the beach and enjoyed local seafood and cocktails for nearly every meal.

The weather was a bit cooler than what I am used to in Baton Rouge. We weren't too big on the beach this trip because of the cool winds. During the day, it was a high of 60 or so, but at night it was in the 40s and 50s. I have lost my tolerance for cool weather after five years in the South!

All in all, it was a fun trip. We watched the spring breakers and felt a little sorry for them; remembering how important that ONE week of freedom is to high-schoolers. The weather would have put a damper on an enthusiastic teenager.

But now it's back to reality and, more importantly, back to work here! My freelance projects have slowed down some, so I am spending a majority of my days working on the web site and marketing my work to new clients.

Have a great weekend! 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 1:35 PM CDT

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