Mood:
Topic: Entertainment

The final episode of The Hills, ever, begins in a cheesy fashion—Lo, Stephanie, KCal, and Audrina are all hanging out together, discussing the future. They notice that they are all going on their own paths: Audrina says she wants to move out of Hollywood, while Lo says she wants to have Scott's babies. Lo says since they are all in their mid-twenties, it's time for them to have their quater-life crisis (thank you, John Mayer. Call me) and decide who they want to be. KCal says the Brody situation is done and she needs to make a change.
And we hear the bittersweet sound of the theme song...for The. Last. Time.
Sigh.
Brody, Frankie, and Taylor are golfing (raging) and talking about girlfriends. Brody tells the guys that he's talking to someone else (ahem, AVRIL LAVIGNE), and he wants to be friends with KCal, but doesn't know if they are capable of doing so.
Lo and Stephanie are out, discussing the workings of Stephanie's new man, Josh. They aren't official, but Lo thinks Stephanie should put herself out there. Lo hasn't decided if she will move in with Scott, because she doesn't want to break her rule. However, Stephanie convinces her to take her own advice and break the rule.
At KCal's house, Stacie is hanging out and KCal tells her about the Brody situation. Stacie reminds KCal that a "friends with benefits" relationship would never work anyway. KCal says she is still pretty bummed out; she feels like everyone else is changing and she wants to change and be excited about something. KCal tells Stacie she wants to move to Europe since she's never been there and it would force her to find what she wants out of life.
Stephanie goes to visit Josh and watch him race his motorcycle. She tells him that she likes hanging out with him and they both admit they aren't seeing anyone else. So they decide to be exclusive...and they kiss, and then I want to die. He is gross. Stephanie Pratt has a boyfriend and I don't??? Even if he is disgusting, he's still her boyfriend.
KCal goes to visit Brody at the pool and tells him that she is moving to Europe. She says she's bored in Hollywood and needs the change. Brody wants to know if he had anything to do with the decision, but KCal says no. His phone is ringing during all of this and it's obvious that it must be AVRIL LAVIGNE calling, but Brody says it's not important. KCal invites him to her going-away party, but he says he refuses to celebrate her going away.
Audrina brings Stephanie to see her new house that's right on the beach. I'm not going to lie, this house is BAD ASS. Stephanie tells her about the talk she had with Josh and Audrina seems very happy about the new boyfriend. Audrina tells Stephanie that she isn't going to KCal's party, because she wants to get out of the club scene and she doesn't want to see Justin Bobby or RYAN CABRERA. Both of the girls are pretty weirded out that everyone is going their own separate ways, they wonder...what will happen to them???
Lo, Scott, Frankie, and Stacie are all at KCal's going away party. KCal is really concerned that Brody won't show up; if he doesn't, she says, then she'll know she really made the right decision by moving away. But alas, Brody pulls through and arrives at the party ready to rage. There's an awkward Sex and the City-like scene with KCal and the ladies as they debate whether she should go talk to him or not. Of course, she does. Brody says he is going to miss her and asks her not to leave. Although they both get teary-eyed, KCal stands her ground.
At Scott's house, Lo is unpacking her boxes and has obviously broken her rule and made the decision to move in with him. He tells her he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, because she is perfect and he would marry her right now...and I want to die, once again.
Back at KCal's, Stacie is helping her pack a few last minute things. KCal's driver arrives, she takes one last look at her house, and walks outside to meet the car. As they are loading up the trunk, Brody shows up, and Stacie says her goodbyes leaving KCal and Brody to themselves. He tells her that he wouldn't have dated someone else if he knew it meant she was going to leave. Although she says that's all she needed to hear, she knows she still has to leave. So they hug and say goodbye and she gets in the car.
Then, we see moments from the past. We see scenes from Laguna Beach, and The Hills: the moment when KCal and Stephen spent their last night on the beach, when Lauren and Audrina met for the first time, Lo on that horrible date in high school...
Then, it happens.
We see Brody standing there, then the scene begins to rotate around him. The camera pans out, the perfect Hollywood backdrop rolls away, and we see a scene lot, with the car, cameras and a crew. KCal gets out of the car and gives Brody a hug, everyone high fives.
What. The. Fuck?????
Yes, I know, I can't possibly believe the whole show was real. I never did believe it. However, that was what I loved about The Hills. I didn't want to watch a show about people and their real lives—guess what? I live a real live every day and it's pretty effing lame. I want to see people my age living the absolute dream. And that's what The Hills has done for me for the last six years. I've gotten to see romantic shots of a city I love, I've sat VIP in Les Deux, eaten dinner with Jason and Lauren at Ketchup, spent hours sunning at The Roosevelt. The false ending broke my heart a bit; I knew the truth, but I never wanted to wake up from the dream.













