Mood:
accident proneTopic: 30-Day Breakup Guide
I had the pleasure of adding another male to my hate list yesterday.
Lucky me!
Since my breakup, I wouldn't necessarily say I jumped into the dating pool head first (I understand I've got a bout of crazy to clear up) but I haven't been sitting at home either. After previous breakups, I often wait awhile before meeting new people and going on dates. There have even been times when I've met someone I really liked, but worried if it was too soon, because I never want to find myself in a rebound situation.
I figured my most recent ex probably moved on to someone new before we even broke up, so why should I hold back? A little over a month ago, I started going on dates with a guy I met out at a bar. Things were clicking and he was working the magic—taking me to dinners, buying me flowers, bringing me bottles of merlot...
Then he delivered the blow via text-message: "Honestly, I feel like a barely have enough time for myself, let alone a girlfriend. I like you, but I feel like I've been spread really thin lately."
Remember last week's final episode of The Hills, when the background behind Brody rolled away? Umm yeah, that's what happened to me. Instead of standing in my kitchen reading that text message, I was standing in my ex's dining room as he poured me a glass of wine and said, "I'm too busy for a girlfriend, y'all are so needy."
Obviously what happened after that was three years down the drain paired with months of emotional repair.
Not again.
My solution to relationship drama is simply to eliminate it. I understand there is a give and take with dating, but I know enough to understand that Mr. Right isn't going to tell me he's too "busy."
I've given you my rant on the busy excuse before—it's just a nicer way of saying "I'm just not that into you." Everyone is busy. We all have work or play or television or volunteering or drinking to do, it's just a matter of how we manage our time. Some people spend all their time reading, while others may work 60 hours a week, and some people, believe it or not, spend time with their significant others. Imagine that!
I prefer a balance of all—I need time to myself, some time with my girlfriends, and time with my boyfriend. But I haven't found the right guy who is interested in that just yet. And that's okay.
In the meantime, I'm cutting my losses, and reclaiming myself. I haven't slowed down since my breakup, and I think I need a little relaxation.
Months out from my breakup, I am doing well, despite a few setbacks. When people go through a breakup, often the solution seems to be to run out and find someone new. However, going on a bad date freaking blows worse than sitting at home with Ben and Jerry.
Last week, I had a jarring reality check when my route to work forced me into a detour, passing my ex's house. How fabulous!
But hey, such is life. When it rains, it pours; I don't have an umbrella, but I'm patiently waiting for the sun to shine.
