Mood:
coolTopic: La vie
Over the weekend, I went to New Orleans to accompany my friend Leslie to a wedding (nope, still not a lesbian) for some college friends of hers.
Held in St. Patrick's Cathedral, it goes without saying the ceremony was beautiful, and sweet, and all those things a wedding should be. Her dress was gorgeous, he looked handsome, blah, blah, blah...
I can't lie, going to a wedding was a little more difficult than I imagined it would be, and the fact that I was in New Orleans—my city full of baggage, was a double whammy. And yes, a certain someone had been bugging me this week—he will remain nameless (here's a tip: pretend I'm dead).
But hey, cheers to the open bar at the reception! As the couple danced their first dance, I was sucking down vodka/sodas like there was no tomorrow. Accompanying the open bar was a great array of food—so of course, I gorged myself on meatballs, spinach crepes, gumbo, salad, chocolate covered strawberries, and wedding cake. Delish!
But aside from the food and drink, the highlight of the evening was most definitely the band. It was a full on band, with a guitarist, drummer, a backup singer, and the lead singer, who may as well have been Steve Carell. No, seriously.
Of course, they sang a few typical slow love songs, until they realized no one was dancing. Then I had the pleasure of hearing a white guy singing, "Back dat ass up." Everything was enunciated perfectly.
"You going to ride in the Jag, yeah, with that head. You could smoke a fire bag, yeah, of grass, yeah. I'm a Big Tymer ***** yeah, pull the trigger, yeah."
I don't think my words do this any justice.
His playlist also included, The Bunny Hop, The Cupid Shuffle, Baby Got Back, Yeah ("Next thing I knew she was all up on me screaming..."), and Apple Bottom Jeans ("She turned around and gave that big booty a slap!").
Half of the time I was dancing, the other half I was laughing and trying not to fall over from doing so. I decided that even if I have to marry myself, I will have a white wedding singer to do rap songs at it. Decision made.
I couldn't stop picturing this guy, years ago, wanting to be in a band, before he finally had to suck it up and accept his fate as a wedding singer. He then realized he'd have to keep up with the people getting married, so he spent his free time memorizing Juvenile songs, with the appropriate hand motions.
So perfect.
I had a blast at the wedding! Hope to see you all very soon!
