Mood:
celebratoryTopic: Entertainment
I was hating the Grammy's before they began, because all I heard about was Beyonce and Gaga—two performers I hate. Gaga kicked off the show with some weird factory scene ("The Fame Factory") and she was dressed in a lime green glitter glob.
Don't get me wrong, it's not that she's too edgy for me. NO ONE is too edgy for me. It's that she's fake. She's in it for the money. She says she writes her songs from experience, but they're just about fame and sex. She also says she has always dressed like a crazy psycho—a complete lie. Previous pictures will show that she dressed pretty normal.
Anywho, Elton John performed with Gaga on the piano and all the homosexuals can die happy now. I do love this abut the Grammy's—you never know who's going to end up performing together.
Umm...so then Stephen Colbert gets up and talks. And talks. And talks. I don't think he's too funny and it seemed like he was stalling to get to Song of the Year. The competition was between Gaga, Maxwell, Beyonce, Kings of Leon, and Taylor Swift. Beyonce won for Single Ladies. NEXT. (naturally she couldn't accept the award because she was backstage getting ready to fall on her fat ass).
Speaking of fat asses, here comes J-LO...geez. After getting sidetracked by her hideous part down the middle, I realized she was introducing the cast for the "American Idiot" Broadway production. This was an interesting performance of Green Day's "21 Guns,"—half Broadway performers, half Green Day. I'm sure Green Day ever imagined their album would be turned into such a production, literally.
Best Country Album was up next between Taylor Swift, LeAnn Womack, George Strait, and Zac Brown Band. Taylor Swift won, and I bet she was scared to accept the award. Beyonce's performance was up next, so I decided to tend to my garbage disposal, because I discovered it had a measuring spoon stuck in it. So, while I'm in the kitchen trying to pry the spoon out of my drain with a wire-cutter, I'm hearing Beyonce singing Alanis. What. The. Hell. As if I couldn't hate Beyonce more...now I do.
Pink is up next, introduced by Seal. She waltzed out in a very virgin-like white robe thing. It kind of made me want to hide under my bed. Uh, then she took off the robe and revealed this disturbing ribbon outfit. So, let me get this straight: she makes her career from bashing "stupid girl" like Britney, but then wears an outfit like her? If she doesn't get bashed for worst dressed, I don't know who will. I honestly felt dirty for watching this, but whatever Pink. You're just too badass for me I guess.
Miranda Lambert and Keith Urban (love), took the stage to announce Best New Artist between Zac Brown Band, Keri Hilson (go girl!), MGMT, Silversun Pickups, and The Ting Tings. And the Grammy went to Zac Brown Band, wow! Go country :) I was expecting Keri Hilson or The Ting Tings, but hollar y'all! yeeee haawwwww
We were then blessed with the presence of Miley Cyrus to announce a performance of The Black Eyed Peas. Gotta be honest here, I wasn't feeling the masks. When am I ever feeling BEP? Pretty much never. So there's that. At this point, I realized the season finale of Tough Love 2 was on, so I flipped back and forth...the Grammy's were making me yawn.
The adorable Jonas Brothers introduced a performance by Lady Antebellum, which was interrupted by technical difficulties. I do love a lil Lady A—this song, "Need You Now" is every drunk girl's anthem.
Best Comedy Album was between Spinal Tap, Stephen Colbert, Weird Al Yankovic, Patton Oswalt, Kathy Griffin, and George Lopez. Unfortunately, Colbert won...I was pulling for Griffin.
Wow! Norah Jones and Ringo Starr took the stage to announce one of the million Lifetime Achievement Awards of the night. They also announced Record of the Year between Beyonce, The Black Eyed Peas, Kings of Leon, Lady Gaga, and Taylor Swift. Grammy goes to: Kings of Leon, for "Use Somebody."
Next was something I couldn't tell if it was a joke or not, until I saw Jamie Foxx. He performed "Blame it," which started off as an opera gig. Jay-Z looked pretty pumped for the the first time in the night. Jamie Foxx didn't even TRY to act like he was singing, as he was yelling during the CD performance. Luckily, one of my faves, T-pain arrived on stage. Then, we got some Slash added to the mix. Sure. At the end, Foxx apologized to Jay-Z for the autotune. Hil-arious.
Justin Bieber and Kesha were up next to remind everyone about voting for Bon Jovi's song. Just a note that either Bieber is rully short, or Kesha is huge.
Katy Perry and Alice Cooper announced the Trustees Award and the Best Rock Album between AC/DC, Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood, Green Day, Dave Matthews Band, and U2. Green Day wins! Probably the best moment of the evening so far. The Zac Brown Band performed afterward, with Leon Russel.
Ah, Ryan Seacrest came onstage to announce a performance by Taylor Swift. Some Tweets were confirming my thoughts that she was quite out of key, but I still love the girl. And then, Stevie Nicks joins her onstage. Holy hell. Didn't see that one coming!
Lionel Richie was on stage next, quoting Michael Jackson. FINALLY! The Michael Jackson tribute. Unfortunately, I didn't have my 3D glasses...Michael Jackson's, "Earth Song" was performed by Celine Dion, Carrie Underwood, Usher, Smokey Robinson, and Jennifer Hudson. Honestly, the song gives me chills because I heart MJ, forever. But seriously, I'm shocked that more artists didn't join in. And I really thought they were going to have a 3D version of MJ on stage...is that insane? Well..then Prince and Paris take the stage in head-to-toe Michael attire. I know people say they don't resemble MJ at all, but I beg to differ. Okay so they're not black, but their voices are dead on. They accepted his Lifetime Achievement Award on his behalf and gave a very sweet thank you.
Sheryl Crow followed to announce the Merit Award and a performance by Bon Jovi.......with Sugarland? What the? Whatever. NEXT.
The Grammy for Best Rap Song Collaboration between Beyonce, Kanye, Jay-z, T-Pain, and Justin Timberlake. Grammy goes to Rihanna, Jay-Z, and Kanye West for "Run This Town." It's a shame Kanye wasn't there.
At this point, I'm not going to lie, I was severely turned off and straight up bored. I heard the performance for Haiti. Eh. I'm all for helping other countries, but I think this has been shoved down our throats to no end and we're all going to get sick of it and not want to help in three months when the Haitians really need it. Just a thought.
Adam Sandler announced the performance of The Dave Matthews Band. Always been a DMB fan, always will be. Let's face facts, I was checked OUT at this point.
Ricky Martin was on stage next and kept saying "let me feel the heat." Ehh whatever. Best Female Vocal went to Beyonce, who beat Taylor Swift and Adele. GOD.
LL Cool J was on stage to announce the Recording Academy Lifetime Achievement Award and the performance of Maxwell. And with the announcement of Jeff Beck's performance, I turned it off. Call me crazy, but the Grammy's suck. And frankly, every year they piss me off because often, true musical talent goes unnoticed.
So I missed Album of the Year. Chances are, I hate the person who won it. Here's to NOT watching next year's Grammy's.
{Editor's note: I saw on the news this morning that Taylor Swift won Album of the Year for "Fearless." I definitely don't hate her. I also saw a clip of Lil Wayne's performance, which I will have to YouTube later.}
