Mood:  party time!

Tonight is the night I've been looking forward to for four months. This evening, my friend Nicole and I will be sitting fourth row at the John Mayer concert (yyyyeeeaaaahhh boy!).

Let me make it clear: I have seen John Mayer in concert more times than I can remember...in Chicago with Guster, in Cincinnti twice-once with Jack Johnson and once with the Counting Crows (I wrecked my car on the way there and still made it on time), saw him in New Orleans with Maroon 5, in Baton Rouge at the River Center, and saw him in Dallas with Colbie Caillat last summer. 

Okay, so I know what he looks like. But do I know what he looks like from four measly rows away? No! And the mystery is about to be solved. Will this be the night I've been waiting for my whole life? Will it be the moment John and I lock eyes and finally fall in love? Will he see me and think I'm drunk and a horrible singer?

I think so.

Anyway, I plan on doing a review of the concert eventually, but in honor of Mayer's show tonight, I wanted to take a look back at his entire discography and pick out some favorites that I'm hoping to hear—those would be the songs I labeled in green. Yeah, I'm organized. 

Inside Wants Out (EP)—1999

Let's face facts, no one heard this album until after they heard Room for Squares, so no one probably even knows this was his first. Anyway, it's quite good.

1. Back to You—Great song! It's mellow, clever, classic Mayer. 

2. No Such Thing (demo)—This has to be the best version of this song, acoustic. Even though we've all heard this song a bazillion times, I like it. Best line: "Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings and the drama queens, I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve." 

3. My Stupid Mouth (demo)—One of my all time favorites. It's really the lyrics that get me here. Best line: "I played a quick game of chess with the salt and pepper shaker."

4. Neon—I keep saying I love all of these songs, but I really do! This song just reminds me of big cities and the people that must have grown up in them. 

5. Victoria—This is the only album this song appears on, and it's really a beautiful one. Best line: "You might be asking, where is Tori tonight? Somewhere out on the highway I'm sure, she's fine."

6. Love Soon—I like the pace of this song, fast then slow, then fast then slow. A real gem. 

7. Comfortable—When I saw Mayer play this song live, I had never heard it, but everyone else in the crowd knew the words. Now I know why, it's heartbreaking...and incredibly awesome! Best line: "She says the Bible is all that she reads and prefers that I not use profanity. Your mouth was so dirty."

8. Quiet—This song is like the precursor to "Home Life."

Room for Squares—2001

This is the album that introduced me to Mayer, and boy did I play the hell out of it. I still love it! Now it seems odd to listen to these pop songs, but I really love the clever lyrics on this album (and check out how different he looks on the album cover!).  

1. No Such Thing—I was in 11th grade when this song came out, so it was a perfect fit for my life then. I blame my love for Mayer on the fact that we aren't that different in age.

2. Why Georgia—I can't tell you how many college road trips have involved me singing this song along the way. I love the progression, but really it just fit my life at the time. Best line: "It might be a quarter life crisis, or just the stirring in my soul." 

3. My Stupid Mouth—Love it! Makes me think of all the fun dates I've been on (errr wait...). 

4. Your Body is a Wonderland—Hello sexual. We've all heard this one is about the lovely Jennifer Love Hewitt, so then we found out what she was really doing last summer (ha). I enjoy hearing this song live, but it isn't a favorite. 

5. Neon—Before we heard anything but acoustic guitar from Mayer, this song was a real treat with its warm electric chords. 

6. City Love—Most definitely a fan of this one. It makes me think of New York City and I just love, love, love it. Best line: "Friday evening, we've been drinking, 2 AM I swear that I might propose."

7. 83—The more I listen to this song, the more I like it. Probably because the older I get, the more I wish I could be a kid. 

8. 3x5—Definitely in my top five. I'm not big on taking pictures, but I am big on memories and this song explains it. Best line: "Today, skies are painted colors of the cowboy cliche."

9. Love Song for No One—I love the lyrics for this song, but I really can't get into the melody. 

10. Back to You—This is the song all my ex boyfriends are singing. 

11. Great Indoors—Reminds me of "Home Life" and "Quiet."

12. Not Myself—Eh. 

13. St. Patrick's Day—Love! This song is nearly the preview to "Wheel," but I love the concept. The music reminds me of "City Love." Best line: "In the dark, on the phone, you tell me the names of your brothers and your favorite colors, I'm learning you." 

Any Given Thursday (Live in Birmingham)—2003

This came out when I was a senior in high school. I remember coming to school on mornings of newspaper publication (around 6 am) and putting this CD on. Ah, memories. I'm not huge on live albums, but this one flows nicely...and he says funny things between the songs, which is my favorite part of seeing someone live.   

{DISC 1}

1.  3x5—This version has a long intro that clearly confuses the audience until it gets into a few familiar riffs. 

2. No Such Thing—I still like this song! Is it weird that because this album was recorded in Birmingham, every time I drive through it I think of John Mayer? Don't answer that. 

3. Back to You—My ex-boyfriends are still singing this one. 

4. City Love—And I still love this song. 

5. Something's Missing—This was our first time hearing this song, and my first time falling in love with it! Best line: "You never know when it starts, until there's fog around the glass inside your summer heart."

6. Lenny/Man on the Side—Yet another debut! And this goes to the top of my Mayer chart. This is the sweetest song...EVER! Not to mention the great blues guitar he's got going on. Best line: "I fell in love with the dream that I built of you, playing the part of the queen."

7. Message in a Bottle—The remake...but still good. 

8. Love Song for No One—Still just okay. 

{DISC 2}

1. Why Georgia (full version)—The opening of this version is awesome. In fact, it makes me like the song even more. 

2. Your Body is a Wonderland—The best part of hearing this live is everyone giggling and screaming when he says "bubblegum tongue." 

3. My Stupid Mouth—John, call me. 

4. Covered in Rain—SERIOUSLY. This has got to be my number 1 Mayer song, or a damn close 1.5. It's sweet, depressing, and it's got awesome guitar. I love singing to this one, no matter how horrible I sound. Best line: "Tonight we're gonna order in, drinking wine and watching CNN. It's dark I know, but then again, it's the brightest thing I got."

5. 83 (medley)—This one is still a great song, but Mayer adds in some "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" which makes it even better. Who knew?

6. Comfortable—Awwww. 

7. Neon—This song sounds best live, I hate to say it, but it's true. 

Heavier Things—2003

This might be my favorite album of Mayer's. Odd, I know—there wasn't much hype for this one and it didn't have many real hit records. Regardless, I love it. I've listened to it the most out of all my Mayer albums. PS. How cute is he on the cover with his one tattoo?   

1. Clarity—this would go in my top 5 songs of Mayer. Honestly, I love the tune, the lyrics; there is really nothing like cranking up this beast and driving with the windows down. Best line: "The rock candy's melted, only diamonds now remain."

2. Bigger Than My Body—Remember this song? This was released as a single and had a music video, but I don't think it really caught wind. For the Mayer fans, it's a good song, but not one of his best. 

3. Something's Missing—Me likey! I think I just like the hint of blues this song carries. It's sexy, slow, but still got DAT BEAT. 

4. New Deep—Not really a fan of the "new deep." I can definitely groove to the beat of this one, but the lyrics are a little cheesy. Sorry, John, call me (I'm the new deep). 

5. Come Back to Bed—Oh John, no. He tried to get another "Your Body is a Wonderland" out of this song, but it didn't work. 

6. Home Life—This would be the theme song if my life had a television..."think I'm gonna stay home, live myself a home life."

7. Split Screen Sadness—I have always loved this song. It's sad, even a little depressing, but I love it! Best line: "All you need is love is a lie 'cause we've had love, but we still said goodbye."

8. Daughters—Awww...how can you not love this song? It makes my heart melt. For some reason, it reminds me of David Gray. Anyone else get that vibe?

9. Only Heart—Eh. 

10. Wheel—Another love. I have a "thing" about airports. I love wondering where everyone is going and who they are. Yeah, weird, I know, but then Mayer wrote a song about it. Best line: "And if you never stop when you wave goodbye, you just might find if you give it time, you might wave hello again." 

Try! (John Mayer Trio)—2005

This was a real shift from the Mayer we'd heard this whole time. He joined up with Steve Jordan and Pino Palladino in concert, to create one of his worst selling albums. It isn't my favorite, but there are still some great songs on this record.  

1. Who Did You Think I Was?—The opening chords to this track are off the chain. This album introduced us to another side of Mayer—the bluesy one. And I love it. 

2. Good Love is on the Way—I kinda like this tune. The lyrics are classic Mayer ("I'll be lonely, but I know I'll be okay"), but it's got a blues twist. 

3. Wait Until Tomorrow—A nice upbeat showcase of a signing Mayer. 

4. Gravity—Ah, our introduction to this lovely piece of ace. Love, love, love it! 

5. Vultures—We hear vultures again later on Continuum, but I appreciate it being on as many albums as possible. I love this song!

6. Out of My Mind—Wowza! This is that slow blues I love. I can't even describe it, but it makes this song. Best line: "If they don't tell you that you're crazy baby, Lord, they're as messed up as you is."

7. Another Kind of Green—This is the only time we hear this song and I really like it. More of a pop sound, and very catchy. Best line: "So go and drift away from me, adopt some new philosophy."

8. I Got a Woman—The cover...

9. Something's Missing—Oldie but goodie. Always. 

10. Daughters—This is a nice version of Daughters. It's slow and really showcases Mayer's guitar talent. 

11. Try—I can't really dig this song. It's loud and fast...I just don't know. 

Continuum—2006

I'm pretty sure you'd agree with me, Continuum might be Mayer's overall best album. There's pop, there's blues, there's love, there's...more love. This is a goodie.  

1. Waiting On the World to Change—I liked this song when it first came out...but now it just makes me think of voting. For Obama. 

2. I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)—I love the guitar in this one, nice and funky. Lyrics are kinda queer though. Still love you John, call me. 

3. Belief—Another song I can groove to. 

4. Gravity—Good God Almighty, I LOVE this song! Although it arrived on Try!, I cannot and will never get enough of this song. It's Mayer blues at its best. Best line: "Gravity, stay the hell away from me, gravity has taken better men than me."

5. The Heart of Life—This is another folky song. I can't dig it. 

6. Vultures—This is my jam, totally. Although it certainly sounds like a song about paparazzi, Mayer denies it. Either way, I can't connect with the lyrics, but I love the music. Best line "I hear them whispering, they're trying to write it out. They've never gone this long without a kill before."

7. Stop this Train—When this album first came out, I wasn't too sure about this song, but the more I hear it, the more I love. Best line: "One generation's led the way for fighting life out on my own."

8. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room—Wow, did I used to love this song. It's got it all, blues, country, and badass lyrics. But my boyfriend at the time ruined it for me when he sang it to me, calling me a bitch. Thanks, asshole. 

9. Bold As Love—The remake. Eh. 

10. Dreaming With a Broken Heart—I am a sap, a romantic...but this one is just too much for me. That's not to say I haven't listened to it after being dumped and wallowed in my sorrows.  

11. In Repair—LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. I can't tell you how many times I've placed my life or a relationship in the "in repair" category. I heart this song. Best line: "Stood on the corner for awhile, to wait for the wind to blow down on me, hoping it takes with it my own wings, and bring some brand new luck upon me."

12. I'm Gonna Find Another You— This song makes me think of Jessica Simpson. End of story. 

13. Can't Take That Plane— Ah, the bonus track of the album. I like it, but it doesn't fit in with the rest of the songs. It's fast and loud...nope. 

The Village Sessions (EP)—2007 

Okay, so we've heard all the songs on this album before. But this time they're acoustic and they sound delicious. I am a real sucker for anything "unplugged" and this fits my need. Yum.  

1. Waiting on the World to Change (feat. Ben Harper)—this version is better than the one on Continuum. It's acoustic and hell, it's got Ben Harper. 

2. Belief—Another goodie simply because it's acoustic. You can hear the nice guitar work on this version. 

3. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room—SEXY! Best line: "You try to hit me, just to hurt me, but you leave me feeling dirty." 

4. Good Love is on the Way—Just like "In Repair," this song speaks to my life in weird ways and I love it. If you see me singing in my car, it's probably to this one. Best line: "Done with broken people, this is me I'm working on." 

5. I'm Gonna Find Another You—Jessica. 

6. In Repair— I love it on the live albums, I love it on the studio albums, and I love it here. This album had a video with it on the making of this song, which really inspired me. It was written and recorded in a single day. 

Where the Light is (Live in Los Angeles)—2008

At this point, Mayer fans waited two years to hear a full-length album. While this one is live, it was really hyped up, but  also a nice collection of music. I love Los Angeles, and I love John Mayer, so it's no shocker that I love this album.  

1. Neon—this version has a nice jam session in it. 

2. Stop This Train—My true test for an artist is how good they are live. How close to the CD does it sound, or is it better? This is a great version of this song. Mayer, you pass. 

3. In Your Atmosphere—New song! I am obsessed with this one. Of course I do, it's got sad lyrics. Best line: "I get on lost on the boulevard at night, without your voice to tell me 'I love you, take a right.'"

4. Daughters—By this point, I think this is a classic for live shows. 

5. Free Fallin'—I'm not big on cover songs, but I love Mayer singing this. My parents love Tom Petty, so I grew up hearing this song. Great, great, so great! 

6. Everyday I Have the Blues—Another new tune! And I dig this one. Best line: "Speaking of bad luck and trouble, well you know I had my share."

7. Wait Until Tomorrow—This song is live on two albums. I'd like to hear it acoustic. Ok, so I'd like to hear everything tomorrow. 

8. Who Did You Think I Was—I still love the opening chords; makes me wanna rock my face off. 

9. Come When I Call—This version is rather short for a live song, but I dig it. I just love how catchy (and true) this song is. 

10. Good Love is On the Way—This is a good version of this song; his voice sounds top-notch. 

11. Out of My Mind—At ten minutes long, this version of the song might just be a dream come true. There's a niiiiiice break down and build up for this song. 

12. Vultures—I love it when he sings "down to the wire." Anyone else?

13. Bold As Love—Meh. 

14. Waiting on the World to Change—Even though I get tired of hearing this song, I like hearing everyone sing along to it. 

15. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room—How hot is this version? Pretty hot, can't lie to you guys. It's slow and his voice sounds awesome. 

16. Why Georgia—He's still got it.  

Battle Studies—2009 

I previewed and reviewed this highly anticipated album a few months ago. But since I've had a chance to listen to it more, a few of my opinions have changed.  

1. Heartbreak Warfare—I hate to say it, but I think this song might be a little too depressing for me. 

2. All We Ever Do is Say Goodbye—Meh. 

3. Half of My Heart (feat. Taylor Swift)—I love this song. I think I was indifferent at first, but I really like it and hey, I can relate. Best line: "Tried my best to understand all that your love can bring."

4. Who Says—I think I like the music video more than the song in this case (when does that ever happen?). It's a night out with Mayer...and boy, is it fun. 

5. Perfectly Lonely—This was a favorite of mine when the album came out; it's catchy and the melody is upbeat even though it's about being alone. Well, it's still a good song, but not my favorite. I've moved on. 

6. Assassin—Hello moved on! I love this song! The digital rain sound has found a place in my heart and even though this song is about a one-night-stand, let's face it: Assassinate Me. Best line: "To find the day is burning the curtains and the wine, in a little white room."

7. Crossroads—Eh. Not really digging this one like I was before. It's too doctored. I miss class Mayer...wait for it...

8. War of My Life—CLASSIC MAYER! This song reminds me of Stop This Train and I love it! The beat even sounds similar, but the singing is so steady and quiet. Sigh. Best line: "I've got a hammer and a heart of glass, I gotta know right now which walls to smash."

9. Edge of Desire—I loved this song before, but now I love it more than ever. It is the BEST song on this CD. I cannot get enough of it. Best line: "Wired and I'm tired, think I'll sleep on my clothes on the floor. Or maybe this mattress will spin on its axis and find me on yours." GOD I HOPE SO. 

10. Do You Know Me—Meh. 

11. Friends, Lovers or Nothing—This song doesn't do anything for me. It kind of reminds me of I'm Gonna Find Another You, which makes me think of Jessica Simpson. Gross. 

Whew! If you've made it this far, congrats. I will be happy to hear any of this songs at the concert tonight, but I'd be happy if he just stood up there and jabbered away, who am I kidding? If you're going to the show tonight, look for me (I'll be the one kissing John Mayer). 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Wednesday, March 10, 2010 7:57 AM CST

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Mood:  silly

No, I'm not a lesbian. Wanted to go ahead and clear the air, just in case. For the record, I like men, a lot. 

Now we've got that settled, I've got a new blog to share with you. Well, not a new blog, it's a little old, but new to me and hopefully, new to you—The 100 Girls, 100 Days Project by "Travis Dillinger." He explains this project as such:

"After a break up and more than a few beers, I decided to start this little project/social experiment/playing with fire.  I started this to see if I could get involved with 100 different girls in 100 days. A lot of it has to do with the things men will do to get women, but it’s more honestly about me playing the field and the numbers game that goes along with that."

If that doesn't make you want to read this blog, then I don't know what will. So, I started with Day 1 and went from there. This is what I discovered, although I don't want to give anything away—read it for yourself!

Day 1 begins November 6, 2009 at Jamba Juice. Travis is digging the girl behind the counter who always gets him a drink—"I have a thing for a damaged girl," he writes. Loves it. 

Each entry begins with the girl's stats—age, height, hair color, method, and advancement. Sounds horrible, right? Well this whole blog sounds horrible, but once you get into it, it's really not as bad as it sounds...in fact, it's great! After awhile, there are girls I can relate to, others I can't, and some I'd like to see stick around after the project. 

Day 4, Travis goes on a coffee date on a Monday! Eeck! This encounter ended in a nice kiss. How sweet.

By Day 8, I'm loving it. "The ex called me because she decided she wanted to initiate round five-thousand of the trying to make each other feel like complete shit game. I think she can bring out the worst in me sometimes, I swear she brings out the meanness, the spitefulness, and the pettiness in me.  And this was the start of my day. I clearly had no choice but to continue the day in a self destructive spiral."

Day 22 & 23 are shockers—who gets dates on the Thanksgiving holiday? Travis does. When you think about it, how DOES someone go about a dating-like encounter every single day for 100 days? It's pretty entertaining.

Day 26, he's hooking up with the recently single coworker: "She was trying to get herself drunk. I was the rebound, and the bad mistake. This was okay, because she was just number 26."

Who is loving this as much as me? Wait...what does that say about my life? Don't answer that. 

Around Day 30, I'm realizing that this dude could be anyone. Travis is obviously not his real name, it doesn't say where he lives, or works (although I'm assuming the New York region). So all the ladies out there, disgusted by this...yeah you could've been one of 100. BLAM!

My fascination from this blog is purely getting into the male mind; the same curiosity that drove me to read The Average American Male, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, etc. But there's more emotion in Travis' writing, which I enjoy. It's nice to know that guys get hurt by exes, too and there are still some out there searching for love than knocks them off their feet.  

Day 37, Travis says he's becoming disenchanted with the whole thing. Oh no! How can it be?

Although I know what happens, you might not! Will Travis find the woman of his dreams? Will he end up with his lady friend, Kara (this is what I'm hoping for). As I'm following Travis on Twitter, I see he's trying to get a book deal out of his project. 

Travis, if you're reading this, two things—good luck with the book! And...how did you keep all of these ladies straight; didn't some of them call or text you again to meet up? 

Read Travis' 100 Girls, 100 Days Project blog at http://100girls100days.com or click the link to the left if you're viewing this from my blog page. Happy reading!

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Tuesday, March 9, 2010 8:22 AM CST

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Mood:  happy

Months ago, as you may recall I was upset because the film, The September Issue was only released in the big, cool, chic cities—meaning, not Baton Rouge. Well, somehow I survived months without seeing it until it came out on DVD.

So Saturday night, I finally got to see it. The September Issue: Anna Wintour &The Making of Vogue is a documentary-type film by R.J. Cutler. The previews kept calling it the “real-life Devil Wears Prada.” In ways, it was—there was definitely the intern scrambling for coffee and every newspaper and magazine to lay on Wintour’s desk before her arrival. Which made me think one thing—I need an intern. 

I guess I should back up here; Anna Wintour is the editor of Vogue. As it was said it the documentary, Wintour doesn’t follow the fashion designers, rather they follow her. It soulds cliché, but it’s true—Prada would show her something new they designed, if she didn’t love it, they redid it. Now that’s power.

Although people who work around her say Wintour is standoffish and speaks her mind, I didn’t really get that impression. She doesn’t have a harsh look about her; in fact, she looks pretty inviting. Speaking of her look, dare I bash Wintour? I’ll never work at Vogue anyway, right? Hmm….oh, hell. I wasn’t impressed by her wardrobe. She wears Ralph Lauren boat-ready looks. Don’t get me wrong, nothing she wore was odd , weird, or ugly. I was just expecting her to be in fur coats and tall heels, and of course covered in diamonds, dah-ling.

Having said that, the entire Vogue staff shocked me with their lack of style. A few of them just wear random pieces of all-black clothes. Some look professional. But some, some were wearing jeans. JEANS?! AT VOGUE?! I know jeans are still a classic fashion staple, but so help me God, if I ever step foot into Vogue or any other Conde Nast office, I would never ever wear denim.

Several of the employees they interviewed, weren’t American. Which makes me wonder two things: 1. How American is Vogue? And, 2. Do Europeans think we are that stupid and unstylish that we can’t even work at our very own magazine?

Wintour grew up in London in the 60s—a time when women’s fashion was going through many changes. Her father was a newspaper editor and basically told Wintour she was going to be the editor of Vogue one day…odd how that works, isn’t it? Although there are no signs of love or men in Wintour’s life now, she does have a college-aged daughter who basically laughed at the thought of working at the magazine. She said something about how fashion isn’t a career or something. I’m all for making and taking your own path, but damn, you have the opportunity of a lifetime falling into your lap and you laugh in its face.

Anyway, back at Vogue, the entire documentary is the staff piecing together the September 2007 issue, which is the introduction to fall fashion, i.e. the direction of fashion for the following year. As a result, the September issue of Vogue is the thickest, and the most popular.

What surprised me the most in the film was how Vogue handles their production cycle. They schedule several different photo shoots; one for color, one for texture, one for accessories, etc. They hire models, pull the clothing, get photographers, storyboard the shoot, do the shoot, layout the prints…then Wintour walks in. If she doesn’t like  half of the prints (which is likely), the shoot must be redone. That’s $50,000 of work gone in a matter of 10 seconds. Daaaaaaamn. I understand the best is what ends up in the magazine, but it seems like a lot of money, time, and work wasted.

Two things made me happy about Vogue: 1. When Wintour edits people’s work, they still get upset and throw fits. This makes me happy to know that even at Vogue, it sucks to get edited. And 2. The office itself wasn’t chic. They still had some cubicles; there were no sleek modern desks or light fixtures. So glad to know that even in the office of cool kids, they sit at crappy desks. 

There were a few "Vogue" moments in some episodes of Sex and the City—anyone remember that show? There's one episode where Carrie tells her friend Stanford she used to buy Vogue on a Saturday night instead of dinner because she "felt it fed me more." Oh pull yourself together, Carrie! I'm not quite THAT obsessed with Wintour's creation; I'd take a pizza over an issue of Vogue any day (and what does that say about me?). However I do love magazines and I should be so lucky as to have anything to do with Vogue one day...

Except...remember when Carrie got a freelance job at Vogue for $4 per word? Yeah, I don't think even Vogue pays that much. Just sayin'.  

Posted by wittywriter7 at 8:27 AM CST

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Mood:  special

Well, it finally happened. I know all you cynics out there were just waiting for the day I had my first baking failure. Well happy, happy. joy, joy! You should’ve seen me last Saturday cursing in my kitchen over a batch of 3-layer brownies.

For me, cooking and baking is sometimes a challenge, but most of the time I enjoy getting the chance to make something new…and when it tastes good, I feel proud of myself knowing that I will never starve and I can make a 5-star dinner, even in a cave (with only a rock and a candle).

So I had my heart set on baking these raspberry cheesecake brownies for a “happy moving day” treat for a friend. Well…let me tell you…I had the recipe in my Hummingbird Bakery cookbook—a book that’s not failed me thus far. Everything I bake from there tastes great, and even looks just like the photos.

I was ready for action, with all of my ammo in check; the brownie dough, the cheesecake mixture, and the cream topping.

So I pour the brownie mix into the pan first, as it forms the bottom layer of the triple-layer dessert. Next, I poured the cheesecake. At this part, it said to put in the oven at 325 degrees for 30-40 minutes, or until the cheesecake is firm to the touch and a light golden around the edges.

Ok, will do.

Well I had that cheesecake brownie thing in the oven for at least 45 minutes and it STILL wasn’t looking “light golden around the edges.” Well, I didn’t want to burn it, so I took it out and started the cooling process…which I then saw the recipe said “Let cool completely, then cover and refigerate for 2 hours or overnight if possible.”

Seriously? Damn. So it took around three hours for the dish to cool so I could put it in the fridge. Once there, I went to bed and was going to have to finish things in the morning.

Rise and shine! In the morning, I had to make the top layer for the brownie/cheesecake—the cream topping, basically a homemade raspberry whipped cream. It was my first time ever making my own whipped cream, so I was nervous. I mixed the cream, sugar, and raspberries until firm…and already it was not looking like the picture. The picture looked like the cream had been colored a nice magenta…mine was barely pink.

Oh well, no biggie (in reality, this bugged the hell out of me. I am big on presentation and if Hummingbird Bakery used food coloring, then they need to tell me!). So the recipe said “turn the brownies out onto a board and turn right-side up.” Okie dokie. So I flip the dish over onto a large cutting board.

Nothing happens. The dish and brownie/cheesecake was TOO COLD from being in the fridge all night that it wasn’t coming out of the damn dish. So I tried pulling on the parchment paper I had lined the dish with, still nothing. I let it sit for an hour to warm up, still nothing. So I put it in the microwave for 2 minutes. 

Pretty big mistake. Although it came out of the dish, I had to let it cool before I could put the cream topping on, or else it would melt. So there I was, waiting again.

Once cooled, I plopped the topping on. It didn’t look like the picture’s set of cute lil thriple brownies, it was a damn cake. So whatever, I got all the cream topping on and started to do the cutting.

Biggest pain in my ass! This is when the cursing started. Every time I would make a slice, I had to wipe my knife so the layers wouldn’t mix. Do that 24 times and see how you like it. So as I’m starting to cut and rinse and wipe my way to the middle of this god-forsaken dessert, I’m noticing more and more chocolate on my knife. Yeah, the flipping brownies weren’t even done in the middle! After 45 minutes of baking, the damn thing wasn’t even cooked! Argghh!!!!

I ended up dumping about half of the dessert down the drain. It tasted good, I’ll give it that, but it was too complicated and didn’t look as pretty as the picture. Don’t even THINK about baking these brownies! 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 8:43 AM CST

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Mood:  cool

Episode 10—Last week, we were left hanging, while Andrew was splattered across the cement after Ty pushed him over the balcony. So what will tonight bring?

The episode opens with a recap and the roommates are trying to piece together what happened. Ty says Andrew is fine and that he must be faking. Shockingly, the roommates are dumber than I thought, when they go ahead and pick Andrew up and take their sweet time calling an ambulance.

Ty doesn't understand what the problem is, saying he loves Andrew more than anyone. Throughout the evening, the roommates keep getting pissed because Ty keeps laughing at everyone. Probably the most hilarious part of the night is Andrew saying, "I'M TIRED! MY HEAD HURTS!"

Help arrives for Andrew, or "Panda" as the house has now named him. Cute. Josh, who my friend Angela and I dubbed "Jheri Curl Josh" (after a few sangrias), rode with Panda to the hospital.  

When Panda gets home safe, the roommates decide that Panda could've died. They want to have a "house meeting" before anything else happens. Ty is just finding out that Panda went to the hospital and he thinks it's just for drinking alcohol. Oh Ty...

At the house meeting, Ty says he should never drink again and apologizes to Panda. Callie is pissed and doesn't understand Ty. Ashley...is "disappointed." Jheri Curl says he sees 2 different sides to Josh, one sober, one drunk (don't we all have 2 sides, then?). Emily feels like Ty was mad at her, and the anger was taken out on Panda.

Out of everyone, Andrew doesn't care and thinks Ty should stay. He says it was an accident. By the end of the meeting, Ty promises to never drink again. Sure. Everyone is certain Ty understands just how serious they are.

Sooo...let me get this straight. When Irene got slapped by Steven on RW Seattle, he got sent home (and Irene actually deserved it). Buuuut, Ty pushes someone off a 10 ft balcony and all is good in the world? Yet another reason why this season of RW sucks.

Ty has some sort of interview which I didn't watch because I don't care.

Next thing you know, the housemates are at a party and, wait...what? Ty is drinking! Ha...Back at the hizzie, Jheri Curl, Panda and Ty are all sitting around talking about interventions. Panda says he had an intervention about not getting laid, Jheri Curl says he had a real intervention for drugs or being a douche. Then everyone jokes that Ty had an intervention because while he drinks just as much as everyone in the house, he's out of control because he's big and black. Emily overhears the conversation and remains annoyed with Ty.

Then we are graced with the presence of Panda's brother, William. I did get a kick out of William mistaking Wicked Liquid (we make HITS yo!) for a game of rock band. Other than that, William's visit was pretty pointless.

Then Ashley crimps her hair. Hey the 80's called...

Side note: it seems Sweet Leaf tea is sponsoring The Real World because I keep seeing bottles of it all over the hizzie. If you haven't had it, get you some—the peach tea and the mint & honey green tea are divine.

All the housemates are out at the club and Ty is drinking AGAIN...yet everyone is cool with it...whatevs.

Ty heads to "media day" at his work, which once again, is nothing I care to see.

Panda, JC, and Ty are all out for drinks, which naturally pisses off the girls. And, big shocker, Ty and Emily hash it out once they get back to the house. Panda sticks up for Ty and says Emily is overreacting. Later Emily goes into the confessional crying and Panda joins her...they discuss the issue, which we've all heard—Ty promised he wouldn't drink while at the house and he broke his promise. 

In the end, Emily concludes that Ty does everything on his own time. Isn't that great? Everything just wrapped up in a pretty little bow. Tra-la-la.

NEXT WEEK—It's Ericka time! Ericka's turn to bitch again about not getting what she wants...and then, Panda finds a girl he actually likes!

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:27 PM CST

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Mood:  cool

The February 18 issue of Rolling Stone featured, once again, Lil Wayne. If you weren't here for my last rant about RS magazine, let me brief you. 

I have a love/hate relationship with RS when they feature people I admire on the cover. I always look forward to reading the story, but then those pretentious journalists have to write all the nasty truth about drugs and sex and then I get pissed, curl up in a ball, and eat Girl Scout thin mints by the roll (ok, so now you discovered my Saturday night plans).

The issue before Lil Wayne was my beloved John Mayer (see you in 7 days, 4th row, seat 4. Coincidence? I think not. Call me!). You see, the story was great, the cover photo was H-O-T, but then RS just haaaaad to crap all over my dreams and remind me that, indeed, John Mayer might be a douche (I date douches. Call me).

Such was the problem about the Lil Wayne cover feature. The article, "Lil Wayne Goes to Jail: up all night with hip-hop's unstoppable machine as he prepares to spend the next year behind bars," shocked me the most to find out Wayne has like 10 kids all from different baby mama. WTF, RS?! Now you try to tell me that Lil Weezy is a skeezy?! Dammit, RS, who do you expect me to date and grow old with if you keep outing the great men of the world?

Now would be a good place to mention that when RS featured the lovely and talented Amy Winehouse on the cover two years ago, I nearly cried when they said she did drugs. So maybe the problem isn't RS, it's the fact that I'm naive and forget that other people may be careless about drugs and sex and I have a judgment problem. 

If RS featured me on the cover, what would the story say? I don't have to think twice before knowing it would say men fall at my feet begging  to spend time with me. My Saturday nights are full of martinis and piano bars. My writing? Superb. Novel? Best-seller. 

Okay, really. It would say I suck at Scrabble even though I'm an editor. That I spend my money on concerts instead of traveling the world. I know lots about wine, but less about coffee. I dated more in high school, and I collect cocktail rings that my leasing agent thinks are real diamonds. 

Would RS put a little spice into my life, or would they reveal the ugly truth? Food for thought.

Back to the issue—the Weezy article talked alot about how Wayne's camp is going to make it seem like he's not in jail by releasing work he did the days before he went in, thank the good Lord. Of course, the issue of drugs and the styrofoam cup was brought up:

"When I ask about other drugs, he says, 'I smoke weed all day.' When I ask him if he's an addict, he says, 'I'm a very successful addict. And a very smart one. And a very charismatic one. And one that just won four Grammys, and one that, sold a million records in a week. One that still appears on everybody's songs, one that still sounds better than any rapper rapping. One that has four kids and is the greatest father ever to the kids,' He laughs. 'What am I addicted to, being great?'"

When I ask you, Chris Norris, writer, didn't j-school ever teach you not to put yourself in a story that clearly isn't about you? And never to put things like, "when asked about..."?

Even I know better than that. However, after reading tens and twenties of RS articles, it seems they just love for their writers to do so.

Dear RS, please see my resume at www.wittywriter7.com/ As you will find, I've years of writing experience behind me. While I would love to write for your publication, I will not, under any circumstances, put myself in a story that isn't headlined "Holly-lujah: Latest Pulitzer Prize winner reveals all." 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Wednesday, March 3, 2010 8:30 AM CST

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Mood:  caffeinated

Well, I’m going to go ahead and say what every woman in America was thinking last night: Jake The Bachelor, is Jake the Asshole. The final episode of The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love, was more than just a Texan choosing between a Disney princess and Floridian white trash. It was a battle between good and evil, the woman you want to be vs. the girl at the frat party getting a…well, you know.

I hope you didn’t put me above watching The Bachelor, because I used to be super addicted—as in having to sit in front of the TV with no other distractions during each episode. I’ve cooled my jets since then, but I’m still interested.

But after last night’s episode, I wonder why? Why am I still interested in seeing something that is either fabricated, or really annoying as it displays the inner workings of a man who is portrayed to be perfect, but ends up picking the slutbag.

The answer is simple: I’m a masochist. 

When we met Jake, we were all feeling sorry for him after the last Bachelorette, Julian, sent him packing and is now marrying someone else. Poor Jake, all he wants is a wife! He was perfect—a pilot, a Texan, good-looking, sharp, and even a little bit funny.

The drama this season was worth my Monday evenings; there was no shortage of crazies among this bunch o’ bitches! There was the blonde who showed up with a basket of gifts for all the girls that got kicked off (including her). Then we had the brunette who told Jake never to kiss her until she would be the last girl he would ever kiss…and then she kept saying, “sooooo you wanna kiss me, right?!” And buh bye. And then there was the Tennessee mom, who brought her son to meet Jake, only to get sent home soon afterward. And, we will never forget Roselyn, the whore who slept with the producer after she told Jake she was “here for him,” and was sent packing.

It was getting down to the nitty gritty when we had Tenley, Allie, Vienna, and Gia remaining. But then, Allie left to go back to her awesome work. Who trades work for love? Allie the Idiot does. Gia was the next to go—probably the most attractive gal of the bunch, but it was no shocker she was asked to leave.

When I began watching this season of The Bachelor, the morning radio show I listen to hosted a guy named Reality Steve who claimed he had an insider at The Bachelor. From there, he rattled off each woman and who would leave during each episode. He also claimed Vienna would be the one left at the end. Naturally, I didn’t believe him. I hoped Jake would chose Tenley, the sweet caring woman we’d loved from day one. So I continued to watch, even though all of Steve’s predictions came true. 

Tenley is so optimistic it’s probably annoying in real life. But on the show, she opens up about being married once before, to the only man she’d ever been with. He cheated on her, they divorced, and now she was out to find love again.

Vienna, on the other hand, was the youngest of the bunch. She is also a little on the hefty side, needed her roots done, was loud, and admitted to being a daddy’s girl (read: he bought her lots of cars and jewelry). All of the girls distanced themselves from Vienna and couldn’t understand her and Jake’s chemistry.

But Jake The Asshole kept saying it was physical. To me that means Tenley didn’t sleep with him in the fantasy sweet or she didn’t try some wack-a-do freaky shit like Vienna. So when Jake sent Tenley away without a ring, it was a slap in the face to all of us women who have a little grace, a little dignity, and great hair.

The crazier part about last night’s episode, was Tenley’s reaction to Jake dumping her. She was thankful for having been shown love again. Wow. I’m going to try that line once I get dumped again, I mean girl, who is writing your script? During the “After the Final Rose” segment, Jake told Tenley they could be “life friends.” What in the hell is that, Jake the Asshole? No one wants a “life friend,” it’s called a husband here in America proper. Tenley didn’t go on national television to make a friend, she came for love and you ripped her heart out on the wings of love. I simply said that so you all would have that song in your head all day.

So Jake, I hope Vienna gives you a mean case of the clap. Have a safe flight, jerk. Oh and as for your upcoming stint on Dancing With the Stars, I hope you trip. 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 8:20 AM CST

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Mood:  a-ok

I am on the ball when it comes to keeping up with all things bloggerish. Just last week, I discovered "Stuff Journalists Like," a very similar, although not authored by, the hilarious "Stuff White People Like."

Stuff Journalists Like is edited by two journalists—Chris and David. The blog is a random list of, you guessed it, things journalists like...and it's pretty funny, probably because it's pretty true.

Although I consider myself a writer, not a journalist, I do many of the same tasks as journalists do...I just make more money doing them (insert evil laugh here). Regardless, I've never dreamed of being a journalist, but don't be surprised if I'm knocking down the newspaper room door in 5 months.

Here are a few things Chris and David say journalists like—

#5 The Good Old Days: "For most journalists, the best days are behind them." I work with many people who used to be journalists/reporters (ahem, for their college papers). And hey, I did it too. It was a great time in my life (ah, the good old days...), but there comes a time when reliving those days gets really old. Trust me, the water cooler is tired of hearing about it. 

#9 Coffee: "It's the Gatorade for journalists." Now THERE'S a true statement if I ever heard one. As the blog says, even the mere mention of coffee gets me excited. Although I drink my coffee black, and enjoy about six cups a morning, I don't think it will ever cure my chronic fatigue. 

#12 Inverted Pyramids: "Inverted pyramids are part of a journalist's life as much as budget meetings, deadlines and alcohol-induced romantic encounters." Although I learned about the lovely inverted pyramid in high school (as a pub rat), I have since abandoned that awful creative-sucking formula. However, I understand and appreciate its logic.

#14 Bylines: "After all of it, journalists are left with only their cherished bylines." I LOVE BYLINES. I write and type and interview and scribble away all to get that byline. I cannot explain to you how excited I get when a byline is mine. And if you get a byline AND a photo, well you've hit the (figurative) jackpot. 

#48 Desk Dining: "In a world of tightening deadlines, decreased staffing and increased workloads, lunch in the formal sense, doesn't really exist for journalists." So, so true. I eat lunch at my desk everyday and I really feel bad for anyone that steps into my office after lunch because chances are, my leftovers are still sitting on my sloppy desk. That's just how lazy I am.

#64 College Newspapers: "It's at their college newspapers where journalists first learn to ignore friends, responsibilities and hygiene to meet deadline." This just goes back to those good old days...except I don't remember not showering. 

#99 Year-in-Reviews: "Journalists have their own end of the year ritual and this is compiling year in review stories and segments." I'm not one to love putting together year-in-review pieces, but I sure as hell love reading them. Hey, sometimes you just forget all the crazy things that happened in a year!

If you thought these were funny, be sure to check out the entire blog (I posted a link to the left). Since I'm in the business of sending out pitches, I think I should send Chris and David a few ideas...(#702 Sending Pitches). 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 9:42 AM CST

Updated: Monday, March 1, 2010 9:43 AM CST

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Mood:  rushed

It's been a little while since I filled you in on my writing world. I started off 2010 with a promise to write more, and that I have done. I'm still keeping up with this blog, writing for my job, doing lots of freelance, and still trying to get grips on my memoir. 

But I have a confession to make—my memoir isn't where I wish I was. And that, my friends, has a simple explanation. I have put myself on the back burner. Well, kind of.

I have heard that writing is like prostitution—first, you do it for love, then, you do it for friends, but in end, it's just for money. Right now, amidst a severe budget crisis, I am doing it for the money. And writing a memoir isn't making me money. I have been putting work first, writing as much as I can, to not only prove my worth, but to fill my portfolio in case I find myself looking for work soon. I have nearly drowned in my freelance assignments—in April, I will have two stories in House & Home Magazine, instead of my usual one. And I will also begin work at another local magazine; my assignment is to be determined.

Between all that, I've been making pitches to other publications, trying to make an extra dollar (Dear The Frisky, please hear my cry). Of course, I love writing. This is not a chance for me to complain, but simply fill you in on what I actually do—you know I read, cook, bake, drink heavily, and watch television. But I spend a majority of my life writing.

Lately, it's been hard for me to find things to even blog about because my life has dwindled to simple survival—making money, then putting it into savings. Nights out are very rare (maybe once a month), nights in are nearly pathetic. I don't know what many of you like to read in my blog (I get lots of notes about the Real World recaps), but sometimes I've got to do the housecleaning and impress the outsiders—so I write about writing.

So today, I wanted to take some time to look back on some features I've written for LSU this year, mainly because in only two months, I've met some amazing students.

My first story of 2010 fell into my lap when a colleague sent me an e-mail about a student, Vashti. Vashti gave birth to her son during her senior year of high school. Having to work to take care of him, she never thought of going to college, so she graduated from high school and went straight into the work force. Her parents pushed her to seek higher education, so she enrolled in the community college. There, she succeeded in her first semester before she found out more information about transferring to LSU. Of course, she was accepted and landed herself a spot in a service-learning course. As part of the class, Vashti was required to visit a local elementary school each week and spend time reading with a student. Her experience was so enlightening, she enrolled in another class with a service-learning component. This time, she worked with women living in a battered women's shelter. Now, Vashti's son is 5 years old. She is a senior, set to graduate in May with a bachelor's degree in sociology. She is looking to get her master's from LSU afterward.

When I heard Vashti's story, I was touched. Here was a woman raising a child, going to school, working, dating, AND doing community service. Wow! On paper, she's outstanding. In real life, what a breath of fresh air. Vashti arrived at our offices for a photo shoot on one of the coldest days of the year, and stood outside for the pictures we needed. She is one of the most cheerful, optimistic people I've met in a long time.

When her story when live on the Web site, we got many e-malis from her friends saying what a delight she is. Even people who didn't know her wrote in to say how emotional the story was. But when her story began to fade from the Web site, I found out something more telling—a week after we met, Vashti's house burned to ashes. Nothing was spared, except for her and her son's lives.

I ran into Vashti days later. If I hadn't heard about the fire, I sure wouldn't have known about it then. She was still the same girl, as happy as could be. I expressed my condolences and she merely said, "well, at least no one was hurt."

After Vashti's story, I wrote on Academic Programs Abroad's Study Abroad Fair; students get a chance to meet professors and find out information about studying overseas. Next, I interviewed and wrote about LSU alumnus and Emmy-award winning director Robert Zimmerman as he mentored LSU students for their Forever LSU Campaign videos. I then wrote a feature on something many in the LSU community didn't know about—the LSU Fishing team. 

Monday, another one of my stories will go live.  That would be the story of Sgt. Brad McKee and his Disposable Heroes Project. McKee graduated high school and wanted to go to college like everyone else. But once he got into the classroom, he felt he wasn't serving his country the way many other men and women were in Iraq and Afghanistan. So, without consulting anyone, McKee signed up for the Marines. Since then, he's served in Iraq twice as a sniper. When he left Iraq the second time, he told himself if he got back to the states he would make a promise to continue to serve those who've served him. Shortly after his return, he enrolled in classes at LSU. He then saw a news story on a man who'd injured his legs from an IED—yet this man had just run 100 miles in one day, raising money for wounded soldiers. The light bulb burned bright, McKee would run a 100-mile ultramarathon to raise money for wounded warriors and their families. 

So in April, McKee will host the marathon. He has invited anyone who has served to run with him. The ironic part is...McKee told me he hasn't run more than 10 consecutive miles in his life. He said he doesn't care if he's walking, limping, or crawling, he will always be moving forward to finish the race.

Talk about motivation, right? It's one of the more incredible stories I've heard and really felt the pressure to make it as great written as it is to hear. Makes me feel kind of wrong for that prostitution comment I said earlier. Eh, well, here's to writing more great stories this year, well for love, or just for the money.  

Posted by wittywriter7 at 2:09 PM CST

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Mood:  crushed out

Episode 9—Finally! It’s the episode we’ve all been waiting for…okay, so maybe just me. But the previews fur reals promised that clip we’ve been seeing all season (not nearly exciting as the Snooki knockout, but you get the picture).

During the lil recap in the beginning of the episode it “reminds” me that last week Josh hooked up with yet another woman who was not his girlfriend. Did that happen? Because I thought that was supposed to happen in this week’s show?? Eh, who knows. Frankly, who cares. We all know this show gets so boring sometimes they all just run together anyhow.

So Andrew is out at the club and meets a dumb girl (his words, not mine) and they take things back to da hizzie. Things are getting pretty hot n’ heavy, Andrew says something about an e-mail, dumb gal laughs, and then leaves.

Things get moral again when Josh and Ash are outside talking about cheating. Ashley says she’s never cheated and blah, blah, blah. While Josh declares “it’s crazy being together.” Right. Well, naturally Josh takes his mo-money-mo-problems to da studio and spits some rhymes, because he is Josh and that’s just what he does. Until…he calls his mom, who is worried about something that I wasn’t listening to.

Back at the club, Andrew is capitalizing on his swag (his words, not mine). For reals, all the girlies are lining up to make out with the Real World guys. So Andrew brings back ditsy girl number 2 to da hizzie…and so does Josh. Apparently Josh’s chica calls Emily stupid and everyone just erupts. Ashley is all “these guys here just don’t act like men.”

This spurs a massive and weird fight between Ty and Em. Ty is defending Josh and his girl, so he’s trying to keep Emily away from ruining Josh’s hookup. Ty ends up pushing Emily, so of course Ahsley steps in and gets on her psychological soapbox and is sure that “someone is going to get hurt.”

In the morning, Josh’s girlfriend calls and asks if he was kissing anyone. He says no, that he was good, and that he can’t wait to see her. Ew, God I hate hate hate guys! He tells her he loves her and then gets back in the bed with the random girl. Ugh.

m///? (introducing my cat Orange Julius!). Emily is on her way to an interview at Kid Power…while back at the house Callie and Ericka are discussing last night’s fight with Ty, who refuses to apologize to Emily, buuuut then he does.

So Andrew takes one of the girls he’s slept with on a date, in order to maybe sleep with her again. The date is probably one of the most boring things I’ve ever witnessed in my life.

Callie and Ashley hound Josh about his relationship and the one night stand, but he says he knows he has a choice to make. So here comes his girlfriend. Then there’s all kinds of gross mushy scenes between them and it totally makes me sick that Josh is such a piece of shit.

The next 30 minutes are filled with scenes I am choosing not to recap. Josh has no respect for women and I refuse to celebrate that type of behavior. I know I asked for drama, but I never said I wanted to remember why so many men are scumbags.

Later, Callie’s brother comes to visit, which doesn’t really have a point. Later Ty is drunk and I’m prreettty sure this is leading up to that EVENT I mentioned earlier. Everyone is back at da hizzie, drunk, but Ty wants to talk to Emily. She doesn’t want to talk and things head out to the porch. 

Ty is wasted. Andrew comes onto the porch and wants pizza. I don’t know the exact order of events but Andrew ends up on the stairs and Ty pushes him over the ledge.

TO BE CONTINUED…!!! Argh! 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 8:24 AM CST

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